the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
