my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
