New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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