so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
