I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
