Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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