Tell her she can't have a vagina
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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