so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
