so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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