Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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