Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
