careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Randomize
