All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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