im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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