So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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