Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
