Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
