i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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