Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
