I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Boobs are out for the taking
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
