# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Blood and glitter go together right?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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