im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
