That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so let's talk penis.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
