...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
