why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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