dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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