Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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