Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
