the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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