Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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