how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
