You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
