Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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