i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
