dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
