After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
