awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
