Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
