you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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