You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
