using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
