If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
