I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is wine microwaveable?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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