Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
