Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
