guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
