I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
