you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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