I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
