I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
