One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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