don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i think my cat just said my name.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
