guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
